Upstairs, downstairs, in her lady’s chamber

Upstairs, downstairs, in her lady’s chamber

THE CORRIDORS OF POWER

Raja Petra Kamarudin

It started as the ‘Four Ks’ -- Kak Endon, Kamal, Khairy and Kalimullah. These were the four people who actually ran Putrajaya, of course aided by the ‘wiz kids’ on the ‘Fourth Floor’, all handpicked and planted there by Khairy himself. Then Kak Endon died and the family became even more close-knitted than ever. After the loss of his wife, Prime Minister Abdullah Ahmad Badawi grew more dependent on his family. Eventually, the ‘Four-Ks’ got replaced by the Holy Trinity; the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost -- the Father being Abdullah, the Son Kamal, and certainly the Holy Ghost none other than Khairy.

It was all honky-dory and peachy-rosy for awhile until Abdullah’s hormones started acting up again. Even before the grass on Endon’s grave could reach a decent height Abdullah went on the prowl for a wife again. Various options were bandied about. One such candidate was Rosebud from Kepala Batas who brought a Tupperware of Abdullah’s favourite cake over to Putrajaya, as revealed in one of the episodes of The Khairy Chronicles. Then we had the one-time Permaisuri Agong, consort of the late Agong. But Abdullah wisely steered clear of this Joan Collins wannabe after being warned by a close member of the late Agong’s family that she will bring about his doom. Finally, in storybook fashion, Abdullah chose the much-bullied ‘Maid from Putrajaya’. Now, if that is not stuff Hollywood movies are made of then I don’t know what is.

I used to love reading fiction and classics. In my even younger days, children’s bedtime stories would delight me. That’s what life should be all about, living happily ever after. What nicer ending than Prince Charming kissing Sleeping Beauty to free her from the evil charm of the wicked witch and then sweeping her off her feet to ride off into the sunset where they would both live happily ever after in a lavish castle overlooking Putrajaya Lake? Or maybe the forlorn, down-trodden and mentally-tortured, plus once in awhile verbally abused, step-daughter who later snares her Prince Charming and gets her revenge on her wicked step-sisters and step-mother -- who now have to slave in the kitchen to pander to her needs. Later on I migrated to adventure stories that filled my head with suspense, mystery and intrigue. But now that is all in the past. Today, I delight in researching facts that have proven to be even stranger and more exciting than fiction. Yes, in Malaysia no amount of fiction can outdo reality. You will just not believe how strange real life can be compared to the make-belief world of storybooks.

Take the almost storybook romance of the ‘First Family’ as an example. By the way, I am using the term ‘First Family’ only because that appears to be what the mainstream media refers to the Prime Minister and his consort as. Actually they are not the First Family at all. The First Family would be the Agong or King. That would make the Permaisuri Agong or the King’s Consort the ‘First Lady’. Then we have the nine Rulers; the seven Sultans, one Raja of Perlis, and one Yam Tuan Besar of Negeri Sembilan. This is followed by another eight Rulers and Chieftains; the four Governors and the four Undangs. This comes to a total of 18. The Prime Minister and Deputy Prime Minister would therefore be number 19 and 20 respectively. This means the Prime Minister’s consort is the Nineteenth Lady and the Deputy Prime Minister’s consort the Twentieth.

Therefore, referring to Rosmah before this as the First Lady and now Jeanne as the new First Lady is seriously in error. The media does not seem to know its proper protocol. And neither do Malaysians in general. I suppose when they call me ‘Mister Raja’, which is really very stupid, shows how much they know or care about protocol. Niceties and proper protocol mean nothing anymore to Malaysians. Nevertheless, at least the media should know better even if the common man in the street does not. The layman can be excused for its ignorance but the media certainly can’t. I mean, would you call Tun Dr Mahathir Mohammad ‘Mister Tun’ or Tan Sri Lim Kok Wing ‘Mister Tan’ or Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi ‘Mister Datuk’? Get what I mean?

Anyway, whatever it may be, the Federal Constitution of Malaysia, unlike the Constitution of the United States of America, does not have any provision for a First Lady. In the US, the First Lady is an official position and comes with the perks that the position allows. In Malaysia, the Prime Minister’s wife is merely ‘the wife of the Prime Minister’ and not the First Lady as the media has erroneously been referring her to these so many years since the previous Prime Minister. Do we ever remember Tunku Abdul Rahman’s, Tun Razak’s or Tun Hussein’s wives ever being referred to as ‘First Lady’? Many of you do not even know their names because they have stayed so quietly in the background and did not capture the limelight like the present ‘First Ladies’.

Okay, back to the issue of the day. Malaysia now has a new ‘First Lady’, if you can permit me to refer to her as such since this is what everyone insists on calling them -- though I will qualify that by inserting the term ‘First Lady’ in quotation marks. But do you know it almost never happened? As I said earlier, there were actually a couple of candidates and Malaysia Today was sent helter-skelter in trying to pin down who that eventual ‘First Lady’ would be. There was one who tried her damnest to snare the top man who walks in the corridors of power but Abdullah was given a stern warning by her ex-step-son-in-law that it would spell doom for him if he allowed her to get her tentacles on him. I will of course not embarrass all and sundry by revealing her name so I will just call her the Joan Collins of Malaysia. I hope that is enough of a clue to point everyone in the right direction. I mean, even one who is on full alert would become a victim of this ‘wonder woman’, let alone one who walks around in a blur all day long. She would have consumed Abdullah for breakfast and spit him out by lunchtime. Luckily for Abdullah and the nation he was warned early in the day before any romance could blossom and before our good Prime Minister could fall head-over-heels in love with her.

Whether by sheer luck, grand design or divine intervention, Jeanne was finally it and we can all now breathe a sigh of relief that Malaysia’s ‘First Lady’ is level-headed enough to keep Abdullah out of trouble. I mean, things were beginning to get very frightening in Putrajaya what with Abdullah snoozing off most parts of the day and with this country being allowed to run on autopilot. If it was really on autopilot that would have been consolation enough but this was a case where the pilot was absent and the cabin crew were flying the aircraft. Can you imagine the stewards and stewardesses in charge of the flight while the pilot is God knows where? Sure, we do have a co-pilot, but the co-pilot too has his hands full sorting out various matters -- not quite matters of state but crisis galore brought about by his difficulty in keeping his hormones in check. Phew, talk about the lunatics running the asylum.

Nevertheless, Jeanne sort of almost did not make it because there were many hands at play in trying to prevent her from becoming the First Lady. And that was why the announcement of the marriage was postponed three months. Since the death of Endon, Abdullah depended a lot on his family both for moral support as well as for advice on matters of state. It became so bad that at one stage the ‘Fourth Floor’ was running this country with Abdullah sitting back and maintaining an ‘elegant silence’ (as Musa Hitam said) while playing the role of observer. Hey, running a country is no spectator sport. You can’t just delegate to immediate members of your family the task of charting the future of 26 million Malaysians. But this is what Malaysia had been reduced to. I am not saying that this is still not going on but with Abdullah walking around in daze this was how the country was being managed. We hope Jeanne will now be a tonic for Abdullah so that he can become recharged with vigour and vitality once again. If Jeanne can be Abdullah’s tonic then what my good doctor advised when he said a peg of Gin and Tonic a day would help the brain cells work overtime would certainly hold true.

It is quite understandable that Abdullah would depend a lot on his children and children-in-law in the aftermath of Endon’s death. They were his crutches and emotional support so to speak. But it is alright if your children have your interest at heart. But when they are out to make a fast buck for themselves, then every bit of advise they churn out is steeped in personal interest and is aimed at reaping as much for themselves as possible. Many perceive Abdullah as too dense in the brain to realise that his children and children-in-law have been pulling the wool over his eyes. This is certainly very far from the truth. Abdullah is fully aware of what is going on. He just does not want to stop them and pretends that they are taking advantage of him whereas he is very much in the know and is merely holding his tongue.

How much of an influence will Jeanne have on Abdullah? Will Jeanne dare speak up and point out to Abdullah the damage to his reputation his children and children-in-law are doing him? Will Jeanne want to risk crossing swords with Abdullah’s family by laying it out to Abdullah that his entire political career and future are in jeopardy if he does not rein in his children and their spouses? How strong-minded and iron-willed is Jeanne in facing a most hostile family that views her intrusion into Abdullah’s bedroom as an act of war?

One thing most may have noticed is that the ‘Second Lady’ was absent from the wedding on Saturday, 9 June 2007. She was in the UK and did not make it back in time. Rosmah would of course have found it very uncomfortable if she had attended so maybe the best thing for her was to stay away. When Endon died she became the de facto ‘First Lady’ and therefore the new Chairman of Bakti, the association for the wives of those who walk in the corridors of power. Now that Jeanne is the ‘First Lady’, Rosmah would have to relinquish her post and hand the job over to Jeanne.

This would of course not be that big a deal if she had treated Jeanne better when she was the top female in the land and Jeanne was a mere housekeeper. But when you scold the housekeeper and treat her like Cinderella, then this would make the situation most dicey indeed. How Rosmah now wishes she had said nicer things to Jeanne instead of scolding her for opening the door a bit too slowly and shouting ‘hoi’ when she wanted that drink of water.

The now world-famous son-in-law, Khairy, too must be wishing he had not chewed Jeanne’s head off when he found her in his father-in-law’s bedroom. There is certainly nothing scandalous in this at all and I am not suggesting that there is. Abdullah had just instructed Jeanne to pack his bags and being the obedient servant that she is she complied. But then how does one pack the boss’ bag unless one goes into the bedroom where the bag and clothes would be?

Khairy of course resented what he perceived as an intrusion into his domain and he made sure that Jeanne knew his feelings on the matter. Jeanne is not one to lash out so she just took all the crap in her stride as anyone who is a salaried employee would. When offered congratulations, Khairi growled, “For what?” And when told for his father-in-law’s marriage, he lashed back, “What marriage? Am I getting married?” He then silenced all talk about the marriage of his father-in-law to Jeanne which he viewed as a mother of a mitigated disaster. Khairy was not about to allow anyone to congratulate him on a marriage that he considered a threat to his very position.

Jeanne is no longer the hired help who the Deputy Prime Minister’s wife and the children and children-in-law of the Prime Minister can scream at and push around. When asked how she is going to adjust to the new ‘First Lady’, Rosmah shot back that it will be Jeanne who will have to adjust, not her. Jeanne will certainly have to walk quietly and carry a big stick. My bet is that before we can shout “Merry Christmas Jeanne”, Rosmah would have found out the hard way that it is she who will have to adjust -- and adjust she will if she knows what’s good for her.

Jeanne’s marriage to Abdullah is not just a marriage. It is going to be a civil war that will see no prisoners. Jeanne is now the mistress of the house and everything that comes with it. And all those who used to treat her as the mere hired help will have to adjust themselves to this fact. When Rosmah comes a visiting she can no longer scream at Jeanne to open the door faster and fetch her drink. Rosmah will now have to kiss Jeanne’s hand like how a good ‘Second Lady’ should when paying homage to the ‘First Lady’. Not the easiest thing to do, I know, but that is how the game is played.

Jeanne must hold her ground. The dog must wag the tail, not the tail wag the dog. Jeanne has come a long way from the time I first knew her 35 years or so ago. Then, she was an unassuming, quiet, shy girl. Why she married Osman, Endon’s brother is beyond me. He was a Casanova that would attack anything that walks. All you had to do was put a skirt around a lamppost and see how he would go for it. Osman and Jeanne are poles apart. Jeanne is a homemaker and Osman a predator. I always thought that Jeanne was made for better things instead of wasting her life on a rogue like Osman. There are other siblings in the Endon family of course and all have a passion for the finer things in life. Who does not know the Endon family and what mischief they get up to? And these genes appear to have been inherited by the next generation, the children of Abdullah Ahmad Badawi.

Nori is not too bad though. Sure, she went into a rage when she discovered that her father was about to take a wife and that Jeanne was going to be it. But it was more out of love for her deceased mother than hatred for Jeanne that prompted her to oppose the marriage. Nori herself is not enjoying a marriage made in heaven and she leans on her father for solace. Many times she met up with her cousin to pour her heart out. In between the sobbing, she related how unhappy she is. Her cousin is the closest she has whom she can confide in. Nori felt that her mother’s place is sacred and can never be filled by anyone else. It was sacrilegious to even imagine that another ‘mother’ can inherit that vacant slot. There is no animosity between Nori and Jeanne. Nori loves Jeanne as just Jeanne, but can never love her as a mother. One can certainly not hold this against Nori.

In time, it is hoped, Nori can accept the fact that her mother is no longer with us and Jeanne is this new mother filling that empty slot. Endon was a strong woman and, for sure, Nori has inherited this quality from her. But Jeanne is not Endon and can never be Endon. She is not made of the same stuff that Endon was. Jeanne is gentler and it is this gentleness which will be the strength that will help her ride over all the resistance and opposition that lies ahead of her.

Once the nation sees the role of Khairy and Kamal plus that of the Fourth Floor getting diluted, Jeanne would be given the credit even if it is not her doing but mere coincidental. The hatred many harbour for Abdullah may also get reduced if Jeanne is seen, as the Malays would say, as the penawar or antidote. That may happen then again it may not. It will all depend on how the nation perceives Jeanne’s role in moulding Abdullah into a changed man.

Jeanne is dangerous. She is dangerous to those who want to be the hidden hands to those who walk in the corridors of power. Jeanne will have to be neutralised. And if she can’t be neutralised then she has to be compromised. Jeanne must be very wary of strangers bearing gifts. Never accept any apples because apples have a tendency of hiding the poison in it. And there will be many with arms outstretched holding the poisoned chalice in the hope that Jeanne will take that proverbial drink that will send her into oblivion. Even as you read this hands are at play in digging up Jeanne’s past, with photographs and all, to prove to the world that she is not what she appears to be.

Yes, Jeanne has entered the vipers’ pit and they plan to see that she takes a fast fall. Beware, Jeanne, for you never know who your real friends are.

In the next episode we shall reveal the hidden hand behind the ‘Four Ks’; the man who plans the corporate moves of the business empire controlled by the ‘First Family’. So stay tuned as we unravel the international network of the handful of men who rule this world and how Putrajaya is but one cog in the wheel of the machinery that makes the world go round.